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11 Random Facts About Michael Guymon

Eleven years ago today my Mom, my brother Ethan, and I gathered around my Mom’s bed to say a prayer before we left for school. When the prayer was over the phone rang, and my Mom answered to hear that my father had rejected the machine that was helping him breath and had suffered a heart attack but they were able to revive him and asked that she come to the hospital. My mom hung up the phone and gave us the news, and asked if we wanted to go with her or go ahead and go to school. I had made up my mind a few weeks earlier that I wanted to have only memories of my father awake and alive. So I chose to go to school and Ethan chose to go with my mom.

My last memory of my father was right after I got back from a trip to Utah to visit my brother. While I was gone, my dad began having more trouble breathing on his own and had to return to the hospital. When I arrived he was awake and in good spirits, I stood beside his bed staring at him laying in an uncomfortable bed in a crowded room with nothing but a small white curtain to provide him with some privacy. His face was covered with a plastic oxygen mask, to which I said something to the sound of, “I’m surprised they were able to get one of those masks custom made to fit over your BIG nose.”

And we all stood around and laughed. Shortly after that we had to leave, and my father told me not to worry about him, and that he would be fine. He said he was feeling better, and doing better. He gave me a hug to which if I concentrate I can still feel to this day, and told me that he loved me and took hold of my hand and stared me in my eye and told me how happy he was to see me, and how happy he was that I came to visit him. The very next day he took a turn for the worse and had to be forced into a coma and placed on a machine which breathed for him.

By the time I got to my second class of the day, which was Art class, I walked through the door and placed my back pack down on my desk and pulled my chair out and was about to sit down when a lady came over to me and said I needed to go with her. We walked back through the door to the bright sunlight and when the door shut on the other side stood John Durnford (who was my bishop at the time) who started out by saying, “Shane, I’m sorry but…” and I knew exactly what had happened. Before I left for school my mother told me she would call and let me know if anything else happened….

In memory of that day here are 11 Random Facts & Memories About My Father, Michael Guymon

1.) My father tried hard to stop drinking caffeine, but he had difficulty giving up Cherry Coke, which he drank in the form of a fountain drink in a black Texaco cup on a daily basis. He began referring to Cherry Coke as "Cherry Water", because throughout his campaign to stop drinking caffeine he also tried his hardest to rally the rest of us to join him. So when he saw me drinking a coke, or worse yet a Mountain Dew, he would give me a hard time. I would then ask, “What are you drinking?” and he would say, “Oh this… This is just cherry water.”

2.) My dad was obsessed about us leaving lights on in the house. He was constantly circling the house turning off lights we left on and he would say, “If I had a nickel for every light you guys left on…”

3.) Almost every night you could find my dad roaming the house in his underwear and a flash light making his way to the air conditioner to make sure it was set to 80 degrees. Anytime it wasn’t we would ALL have to hear about it the following morning. If you happened to be sleeping on the couch while he was on his way he would lean over and shine the flash light directly in your face asking, “Who is that… Oh it’s you Shane!”

4.) My dad was VERY cold natured one of the reasons he chose to hang his hat in south Texas. So year round he would wear a jacket, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat.

5.) He refused to turn on the air conditioner in the car because he firmly believed that the air conditioner didn’t function until the car was moving at a speed of 60 mph or higher. Boy was that fun when the entire family (8) piled into our Ford van for a trip in the middle of the Texas summer.

6.) Similar to Batman my dad wore what we all referred to as his “Utility Belt” which held just about anything and everything a normal person would NEVER need. Some of the items were a pocket knife, glasses, pens, keys, and who knows what else.

7.) Despite Michael Jordan’s greatness next to his brother Jimmy, Jerry West remained the greatest player to ever throw a leather ball through a round metal rim.

8.) My first job was my dad paying me 2 cents a minute to tickle his head. It is looking like I might have to do that to finally get someone other than my Mom to tickle my back or head (thanks to Heather deceiving).

9.) Often times I had to make my dad a bowl of ice cream. The problem was my dad was very picky about his ice cream, and sometimes it would take me 3 or four times to get it right. He loved Bluebell chocolate ice cream covered in a lake of Hershey’s chocolate syrup. However the ice cream had to be somewhat melted as well. So I would scoop the ice cream out, then pour chocolate syrup over it and carry it over to him to find out if I had enough chocolate syrup or not, and to see if the ice cream was melted enough.

***UPDATE***

You also HAD to scoop the ice cream with an actual ice cream scooper. So he would investigate the ice cream to make sure you used an ice cream scooper or not. This never made sense to me, because he also prefered it to be a bit melted before giving it to him. So I constantly would give him a hard time say, “How would you even know or be able to tell.” Then he always responded by saying, “It taste different.”

Some times I wasn’t able to find the ONE ice cream scooper we had in the house, so I would have to use a spoon. On those occasions I used to wait until he was half way done eating then ask him how good it was. When he would tell me it was perfect I’d say, “Well that’s good because I used a spoon instead of an ice cream scooper.” Then he’d say, “I knew it didn’t taste right, I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”


10.) He had a recurring nightmare that he once shared with us, that he would be playing basketball and standing at the free throw line in the middle of a game with tons of fans in the crowd. He would throw the ball as hard as he could towards the basket and it would barely reach the dotted line in the middle of the paint.

11.) My dad was a very quiet guy. He mostly kept to himself. For example, when we would eat out as a family as soon as he was finished with his food he would head straight to the car to wait for us. Even at home, whenever we ate together as a family as soon as he was finished with his food, he would head straight back to his room, regardless if it was just the family, or if company was over eating with us. If we went to a wedding reception or other get together you could always find my dad sitting all alone in the corner out of site.

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25 Random Things About Me!

I’ve been tagged multiple times and kept putting it off but I’m finally falling victom of peer preasure…

1.) I prefer drinking flat sodas, & when I go to a restaurant I order my drinks without ice, & I LOVE Fountain drinks (without ice).

2.) I LOVE my job and NEVER dread going to work. (and I’m proud to say I designed the website for the company I work for).

3.) I HATE Internet Explorer (especially IE6) & hope that everyone reading this using internet explorer will download Firefox today!

4.) I love Pizza but take all the toppings (sometimes I eat them separate) and eat just the bread and sauce.

5.) I HATE mayo and am not a huge fan of ketchup, mustard, or any special sauces. I order all of my burgers DRY. It was always funny in high school when we would have far away games and the basketball team would go get food, they would always have to make one special order for me, and I was always made fun of for it, but my burger seemed to always be hot while everyone else’s was cold…

6.) Growing up all I cared about was succeeding in basketball and I sat the bench my entire senior year and only played garbage minutes on varsity.

7.) I was awarded a letterman jacket but I have NEVER worn it, not once. (They didn’t give it to me until the summer after I had already graduated. It’s still hanging up in my closet).

8.) I can’t eat food without lights being on.

9.) I love to watch basketball and rarely miss any televised game (college, high school, or NBA), and thankfully my wonderful wife puts up with it all, and has our entire marriage.

10.) I met my wife in a chatroom. (Yes it’s because I’m a shy little nerd who is too scared to talk to girls).

11.) For the past two years I have worn a pair of red socks EVERY Friday and have officially renamed “Friday” to “FUN-day” at work.

12.) I am a self proclaimed “Amateur Musicologist”

13.) I wear a pair of basketball shorts under ALL of my clothes at ALL times (because you never know when there will be an opportunity to play).

14.) I LOVE FONTS & Typography in general!

15.) A majority of my emails end with “Enjoy™” (which I un-officially trademarked).

16.) My favorite food is Potatoe (I love it, fried, baked, scalloped, boiled, mashed, diced, sliced, in a soup, salad, and pretty much anyway and any how).

17.) My name is Shane Michael Guymon at least thats what it says on my birth certificate, and Drivers License. My mom has been heard calling me Shaney. When I was younger I used to ask her to call me her little Darling. My sister refered to me as “It” and “squeeky bones.” My brother Mark called me splean, until the next time I saw him and everyone he knew including himself were calling me Skillz (I couldn’t help but suppose there was some sort of “sarcasm” behind it all)! Next thing I knew my brother Matt flipped that into Spillz, which caught on well enough that this kid named Chris Capps called me that on the way home from Basketball practice, but he wasn’t to happy when I called him “Pissin Craps” after that. In Brazil I became a “Greengo” either that or some other mis-pronunciation of my last name. I grew up a loser striving to become a winner. In Jr. High BJ Pratt called me the “White Somalian.” In High School he started sayin Shane “The Main Man” Guymon. Mexicans (hispanics) call me Chain. Then that reminds me of all the times Matt called me Stain. A few people through my life have called me a Nerd. A few other people have refered to me as a Friend. Through my life I have grown accustomed to responding to the name Shawn. I even turn my head when people call out the name Matt (since all my life people have thought we were twins). So I guess if I was to introduce myself I would say you can go ahead and start off by calling me Shane, then you can move on from there…

18.) My life has become a constant battle of trying to gain full control over myself, appetites, passions, and emotions. To which I have started referring to life as “The Beautiful Struggle.”

19.) I NEVER cuss not even when I’m angry. The worst words I say are “hell” and “damn” and those are very few and far in between.

20.) Movies are my biggest weakness. I LOVE them all!

21.) The two things that have impacted my life the most are, my dad’s death when I was 17 (my senior year) and the birth of my daughter Hannah.

22.) I still sit in my moms lap when i go home to see her.

23.) I’ve always wanted to write a book, direct a movie, and be a photographer.

24.) My dad wanted all of his kids to have dark hair and brown eyes, and I am the only one who listened.

25.) I’m afraid of heights, roaches (and many other bugs), spiders, snakes, rats, & swimming in any body of water that isn’t filled with chlorine and other chemicals (rivers, lakes, ponds, or the ocean).


**BONUS**
26.) I drove around for a week with a dead rat in my car and didn’t figure it out until I finally took it into the shop thinking there was something wrong with my air conditioner (the only time I could smell it was when the air conditioner was turned on). I picked the rat up visiting my wife in Buna before we got married. Meaning I drove 5 hours home with it up in my car. On the way home was when I first started smelling it.

27.) My dad used to pay me 2 cents an hour to tickle his head.

28.) Almost every night my mom would be tickling my dad’s back, arm or head. When I would try to come lay-down and get in on the back tickling action, my dad would tell me to go find my own girl to tickle my back and then marry here. So I spent the rest of my life looking for that girl, and Heather tricked me into believing it was her, but as soon as we got married all the tickling has ceased. Now my only hope is to con my daughter Hannah into tickling my back for 2 cents a minute.

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The Man

I meant to post something yesterday but got caught up in the day to day activities. Yesterday marked the 10th year that my dad Michael Guymon passed away. It’s funny how the memory of that day sits on my mind as if it was yesterday. I can remember how the sky was partly cloudy, but the sun was shining bright in an almost insulting manner. The day, since then hasn’t really been a memorable day. In the sense that I treat it as any other day. I suppose I feel like that’s what he would want me to do. He stays fresh on my mind on a daily basis anyways. I frequently have vivid dreams about him. Some where I know he is dead and everything remains the same, and I even ask him in the dream about where he has been, and catching him up on things in my life. I have others where it is as if he never did die. I can still remember small details like exactly how it feels to hug my father…

I can’t believe it has been 10 years.

I had planned on doing one of three things in memory of The Man:
1.) Drink a cherry coke fountain drink
2.) Drink a chocolate malt
3.) Eat a banana split

Sadly none of the three happened. It was a refreshing day though. When I say that I don’t mean to sound as if something extraordinary occurred, but rather I just got caught up in the daily grind of life. I went to work came home (realized I left my cell phone at work) filled a cup full of Mountain Dew went out to the pool with Hannah, & Heather. I read an interesting article in a HOW magazine as Hannah swam. She kept filling this small little toy milk jug with water and bringing it to me to pretend to drink it, and she would giggle. Heather and I enjoyed one anothers company and just had small talk as Hannah played in the pool. We then went inside gave Hannah a bath and Heather left to attend a meeting for church, and I stayed home and kicked it with Hannah solo. I was watching the olympics as Hannah informed me that she needed to get ready for her ballet class. So she brought me her ballerina skirt, and then her “matching” shirt, and then she found her sparkly pink shoes and fluffy white socks. I helped her get ready and she kissed me good bye and off she went on her scooter to her room where she shut her bedroom door. A few minutes later she returned announcing, “I’M BACK!” She continued to run back and forth from her bedroom to me to announce different things until 9:30 rolled around and I decided she needed to go to bed. So we said a prayer (she said it) and off she went to bed where she played until Heather got home after 10:00. I don’t think she went to bed until after 10:30 and I stayed up playing on the computer doing some design stuff. I went to bed around 11:30 or 12:00.

In some ways I feel like that is some what insulting to my father, in others I feel like that is how he would want it to be. I think I should of at least crossed one of those three items off my list though.