“Early data indicate that this virus is responsible for as much as 98 percent of all apparent consumption of online pornography. No one really looks at that stuff. The virus has even been linked to similar malware programs, such as one that causes a victim’s computer to compulsively check his ex-girlfriend’s Facebook page, as well as this one that generates e-mails (again, by some algorithm or something) that make it seem as if the victim were cheating on you with Christine.”